In order to achieve your goals, you must first accept who you are – flaws and all. This may be the hardest and most important thing you will ever do.

People can be cruel sometimes, making life difficult for those who are different. Few people choose to be on the fringe, but there are many reasons why they might end up there ranging from the color of their skin to their career goals to the way they look or speak.

The young are especially sensitive, and perhaps they start then – and for the rest of their lives – to deny some fundamental part of themselves. To “pass” as white or to give up your dream and “sell out” to Corporate America. Worst still, some may start to destroy themselves, as is the case with bulimia and anorexia.

Consider a different sort of pressure, one that seems harmless but deceptively so. Perhaps you want to be “a good person” by society’s standards, so you volunteer for causes you don’t believe in or attending religious services of a faith you have no love for. Your life becomes a fraud, and little good will come of it.

Enough. You cannot change yourself through denial or fakery. No matter how much you act white, you will never be white. Making more money rather than doing something you love does not make you a worthier person.

And you need no external confirmation of your character. Your external actions should be a reflection of your inner self, not the other way around. If you are a good person, you will naturally find ways to help people; it does not have to be forced. Volunteering to clean up trash early Saturday morning when you usually sleep late may not be the best thing to do. At worst, it can make you detest doing “good works” and view them as chores. Find something more your style.

To be sure there are things you can and should change about yourself if you ever want to achieve your goals, ie. a habit of making plans and then abandoning them before you start. But at some basic level, you are who you are – flaws and all.

For your life to have meaning, you must take ownership and responsibility for it. It must be your life. Vow to be the best person you can be, not the best person your family, friends, or society expects you to be. Look at your reflection in the mirror and say, “I am who I am.”

Now you are ready to accomplish your goals.